I was one week away from walking across the stage to receive my Master's degree, which I had completed with honors. I felt pretty good about life. I was proud of myself and the work I had done - professionally, academically and most of all, personally. I'd kicked a** on every level and I was settling into a career I love.
Que: Dr. Blankety-Blank.
Everything about that appointment seemed designed to tear me down: the way he talked to me, the way he talked about my body, the way he talked about my past trauma. It was one long, demeaning lecture about my life-long failure to be thin, my "emotional fragility" and his belief that I would not be successful and would "undo all of his hard work." And the best was yet to come.
"No one will ever take you or your accomplishments seriously as long as you are morbidly obese."
Just sit with that for a minute. Imagine what it's like to live in a larger body, with all of the things that come along with it. Imagine working hard to overcome trauma and poverty, getting a Master's degree and successfully raising four wonderfully amazing young people. Then imagine hearing someone say that everything you've ever done is meaningless simply because you are fat.
Sit with that for a minute.
Sit with me as my co-workers celebrate and support me with my favorite cupcakes (which I only pretend to eat).
Sit with me at my graduation, where those words lurk under the celebration and excitement (and sometimes I'm only pretending to smile).
Sit with me, tense and uncomfortable, between my friends and classmates, wondering if I'm taking up too much space and wondering how many people I know would secretly agree with him.
Just SIT. WITH. IT.
Are you shocked? Sad? Angry? Determined? Defeated? All of the above?
Now imagine, 8 months later and 100+ pounds lighter, coming to the realization that he was probably right.
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